Humiliation Is A Desert Better Served Never (Part 1)


You know who there are days where everything is lovely and happy and perfect? The guy you like likes you back, you come across an unexpected amount of cash…

Yes, well, this hasn’t been one of those weeks..

I’ve been meaning to write since last Thursday when the going really started getting rough…… Not that I got any tougher.

Because I honestly don’t think it gets much worse than Thursday, Friday or today.. so here goes:


I woke up as usual at 6h45 to straighten out the frizz from my hair, which is all awful and kinky so I do it every single day. That day I happened to wake up early so I had time to curl it out too… Like I always do, I layed my hair iron/s on my bed when I was done with them. A while later I put my computer on my bed to check something out… I think you get where I’m getting at; I managed to somehow forget that my irons where on my bed and where still pipping hot. And I sat/lay down on them…! I got an angry swelling on my bum. ‘Nuff said. It hurt all day, and believe it or not, because even I think it’s funny, it stings like hell like a burn to any other place. I could barely sit all day, and now, 4 days later, my back hurts all the time because of my burn! It’s both a figurative and a literal burn, lol, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to leave a scar because I haven’t even told my mom, put some ointment on it, nor did I even run it under cold water as I was hard pressed for time that day.

The day went okay until, during the class right before a major test during which I had been hoping to study we are forced to assembly. Why? We had to watch an hour of a powerpoint on why charity work is positive!! I swear it’s like health ed, if we haven’t learnt it by now when will we??

Then during lunch break, when I was hoping to FINALLY study a little, my best friend from class, CZ, has  a nervous breakdown. The reason? It’s super complicated and I totally get it but it’s about a boy and she’s had this issue for a few months so WHY OH WHY did she chose then to collapse?? Of course I was the good friend and helped her out minimally… But later during the test even the stuff I knew blanked out.. Not to mention the fact that the place she chose to break down in was the school chapel! Because it really isn’t enough off a cliché to collapse about a boy, to do so  in a chapel makes a moment like that about as poignant as a Mexican Soap. Even a bathroom would have been less kitshcy.

To sum up a “brilliant” day, I ended up playing volley during PE. Volley is me all time number 3 most despised sport. It goes gymnastics, swimming, volley — I always have real nervous breakdowns during gymnastics, I can swim pretty darn well even though I hate it but volley makes me feel incredibly awkward. Basically I ended up getting picked last (jeez, I wonder why?) and the teacher asked me and another girl to pick our own teams. We both wanted the same one so I decided to, because I’m such a lovely person, even though I hate her, let her get the team with my best friend and the boy I might kinda maybe like. I ended up getting into a team with my other good friend with a bunch of Rita Crocket,who according to Wikipedia is some women who is in the Volleyball Hall of Fame, which apparently exists.

The bad part about being by far the worse player in a team of volley champs is that you are always inevitably to blame for the team losses.  People may be polite, like with me, and not point it out, but it’s pretty darn obvious I can’t play.

The worse parts of PE where two: when, after I managed to successfully serve for the first time since I arrived at this school (even though I could last year) everybody started clapping me in the back, yelling and two boys literally hugged me! It was dead embarrassing because I’d been hoping nobody’d notice I couldn’t play for tuppence, and besides, people from other courts started congratulating me as well. Trust me, when people make such a big deal over stuff like that, you know their expectations are low. The second bad part of the day was when my team had to play against the boy I kinda maybe like because (and I’m blushing right now..) he kept on sending the ball in my direction every stinking time! Specially when he was serving! At one point, my time called for a time out and said that, hey we already knew where the ball was being sent, so Marina, just try, attempt, please, to send the ball upwards and someone else can finish the move for you. When I could barely do that, nobody even comenteded. Besides, it was humiliating that he thought so low of me in volley………………………………………..

Andddd… that concludes Thursday! Great, huh?


Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head (as the lyrics of “A Day In The Life” by The Beatles go) and sthraightened my hair… And burned myself AGAIN.

Because 2 burns in 2 weeks isn’t nearly enough.

I got to school just on time and had a somewhat peacefull lesson. I wish. Halfway through I star hearing my name being whispered; I’m not Ms Popularity so I found that weird. However not being Ms. Excellent Ears Or Whatever I ignored it. About 30 minutes later somebody drops a folded note onto my table. It says on the  back “READ. then pass forward”. I  inicially meant to just pass it forward but the “read” part muddled me up. I look at the girl next to me who had passed the note to me. She nods but says with eyes wide open that she wasn’t the one who sent it.

I open it. I don’t even read the whole thing. It has big letters saying “MARINA + X = FOREVER IN LOVE”. Now X happens to be the boy I maybe kinda like… Only I know I haven’t been obvious. Just so you know, only one person ever can tell when I lie, and that’s by BFF of 11 years. Not even my parents notice. Even my other best friends can’t tell in the least. I sometimes pull a Holden Caulfield and just start lying to everyone just because I can and nobody notices until I tell them. I’m that good. Im 8th grade I once convinced a gaggle of 7th graders I was the daughter of the Physics teacher.

But back to the main plot. I wasn’t expecting this so I couldn’t even react. I couldn’t lie, because I mean, what could I do? Even saying I didn’t like him wouldn’t blank out what was written and would have had no effect. What should I do?? I was literally dying.

I’m like “Ok. So who do I sent this to??????????”. The entire class was staring at me and I swear… I wasn’t even consciously there. I kinda blacked out. A few seconds into it I’m still panicky (and trying to act confused because I fing that usually works) asking who I’m meant to give the note to. Not to mention that, for literally the third time in my life, I was blushing!!! That was even the most shocking, because I have a darkish, second generation Indian color althought hopefully that means it didn’t show.

I try passing the note to my best friend who is in front of me but she doesn’t seem to grasp the situation. X turns to me and is definetly blushing harder than me (adorable!) and says he’s sorry about the commotion and that he knows I know he didn’t send it. I say yeah, well duh, or something equally intelligent.

I’m certainly panicking so…

*to be continued*