Possibly Imperfect Proverbs

Ok, so as usual I’ve been slaving over (somewhat) interesting things to write about…

My problem, as usual, is that I can’t concentrate on a single idea. I blame my English teachers. When I was a kid, I was so good in comparison to the other kids that in stead of writing about whatever standard subject they wanted us to write, they always let me do my own thing. Which was pretty darn cool, as ended up with way less compositions about “How My Holidays Went” and way more about talking tables and magic unicorns (I was a kid, okay??)

My point is that the word focus isn’t really in my vocabulary. Or rather it is, but I don’t use it much.  Anyways, so the other day I started thinking about proverbs. I mean does anyone really take those seriously? With my 16 years in this planet I have both proved and disproved a bunch of these.

A picture paints a thousand words

Not really… If it’s a picture of an apple, then it’s only one word right?

A watched pot never boils

It does if you don’t know how to cook. Or if you want to make boiled fish or whatever.

 

Actions speak louder than words

Tisk, tisk! Actions don’t talk! Whoever came up with this was high. Actions don’t go up to you and chit chat! *editor’s note- actually for that matter neither do words LOL*

All roads lead to Rome

Not if you live in some continent other than Europe, Asia or Africa.

All the world loves a lover

Not if that lover has herpes.

As you make your bed, so you must lie upon it

You won’t have this problem if you go to a hotel.«

Crime doesn’t pay

It does if you don’t get caught.

Dead Men Tell No Tales

Unless they write a book before they die.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

I suppose this one is true. I mean it is easier to carry two light baskets than one really heavy one.

Don’t rock the boat

This saying should come with a warning: “Caution! If you don’t follow our advise and try this at home you might drown!”

God helps those who help themselves

Not if you’re an atheist.

Half a loaf of bread is better than no bread

I just think that if you’re stupid enough not to know this, then you do deserve the no bread.

If God had meant us to fly he’d have given us wings

Hi, old people who though this up. If you’re getting this letter it’s because time travel exists. Also, airplanes exist too so you were wrong. Love, people from the future.

If the cap fits, wear it

Not if it’s ugly.

If the shoe fits, wear it

Ditto.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys

So if I pay peanutts, do I get The Monkees? ‘cause that seems really cool to me!

Anyways, I’ll continue tomorrow! 🙂 xoxo

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