The Pineapple Of Politeness

I’m a weird person. I’m incredibly random once you get to know me properly. I speak loudly and I jump around and altogether goof around like an idiot. Only I’m unbelievably shy when I don’t know somebody. To me, not knowing someone includes having been in the same class with that person for a large amount of years but never having a conversation with them that passes 5 minutes.

The bad part, believe it or not, that I can be wildly inappropriately polite. It’s default. That’s right, I can make politeness bad. I am on my own level of un-intelligence.

Here are a few things I’ve said that are unbelievably wrong given the context:

Guy I’ve Never Seen Before Who Is  In A Car Ask Me And My Friends If We Want A Ride:

Me: No thank you, sir *smiles*

Random Drunk Teenager Makes a Pass At Me On a Road At Mid-Night While With My Friends:

Me: Hi….. I’ve got to go now.

A Middle Aged Woman Discreetly Tries To Steal Stuff From My Backpack While On A Field Trip So I Gingerly Edge Towards One Of My Ex-Bestfriends (codename “GOAT”) And Say:

Me: I’m not sure Goat, but I think that that nice lady is maybe trying to steal from me.

Ok, so even though these are true they are kinda extreme, because usually I just smile and act rigid.